So… in a time of serious and depressing news, we think it is not just important, but vital, to tune out for a brief minute and indulge in the ridiculous circus of the pop culture world which, despite the universe’s best efforts (and our pleas), simply refuses to stop rising to the occasion. Buckle up!
Somebody call Sofia Coppola - a new bling ring is in town
Is there a new teenage burglar gang in LA trying to get their own Sofia Coppola film adaptation? It feels awfully familiar as in recent weeks there have been a series of thefts targeting Hollywood’s rich and famous.
Beyonce’s storage unit was recently ransacked; the culprits took handbags along with Blue Ivy and the twins’ toys. I for one will be checking eBay regularly to see if I can spot any stolen Beyonce purses (for observational purposes OF COURSE not to add to my own collection).
The kids toys are slightly more of a rogue choice, much like when on Bargain Hunt the Red Team secure a gorgeous vase and the blue team offer up a matchbox from the 1970s.
The two aren’t exactly equal in value in my opinion. Don’t get me wrong, if some not-stolen Blue Ivy-approved Scalextric were on offer to me I wouldn't say no.
There have also been robberies down at Miley Cyrus’ storage unit, so it begs the question - are these cases connected? We couldn’t possibly say.
Just this week we heard news of Shawn Mendes and Camilla Cabello’s home being broken into where thieves made off with Shawn’s G-wagon.
This 'G-Wagon' talk is something I had to google because I have always been under the impression that this was a saying like ‘Hey! Jump into my G-Wagon’.
In my mind this ‘G-Wagon’ could be reference to your Volkswagen Golf. I couldn’t have been more surprised to know ‘G-Wagon’ is actually referencing a type of car. You learn something new everyday.
So, diversion aside, with this pattern of celebrity targets we have to ask ourselves: is this merely an homage to Emma Watson’s career highlight role in The Bling Ring?
If we do have a group on our hands then they have yet to reach the dizzying criminal heights of Nick Prugo doing a victory dance in Paris Hilton’s shoes after finding they fitted him mid break-in of her LA home.
Would this imagined new gang have a spin off reality show like that of Alexis Neiers’ Pretty Wild which exploits and chronicles her arrest and prosecution?
One thing I am sure of is no wannabe celeb-thieving gang could ever top the pop culture moment of Emma Watson in her role based on Neiers uttering the infamous line 'I wanna rob'. (NC)
Dial M for Montero, or maybe 666
Breaking news! Lil Nas X, country king of Twitter and the Old Town Road, is a member of a particularly satanic sect of the Illuminati. I think.
That’s what you could be led to believe – what a few people do believe – following the recent bout of outrage that has ignited. Last Friday, Lil Nas, real name Montero Lamar Hill, released his new single entitled Montero (Call Me By Your Name).
The song was accompanied by a technologically fantastical music video that featured Hill diving into something that looked a bit like hell, or at least some figuration of it.
That was followed by a limited release of six hundred and sixty-six (really) pairs of custom 'Satan Shoes' made with New York-based art group MSCHF. The trainers, made using Nike Air Max 97s, sold out in under a minute; the song went viral in a similar sort of time span.
Lil Nas X is famed for his charming Twitter presence that often responds to a barrage of homophobic attacks, but any hate he has received is fully embraced in his newest project, in which he literally dances with the devil.
The whole thing has ruffled a few feathers, as Hill becomes the latest singer to pose a supposed threat to innocents everywhere. This isn’t new: Hill joins a long list of artists whose music and imagery has caused an outrage linked to a fear that satanic themes will poison the youth of today.
Madonna has entered the chat.
As nonchalant as Lil Nas X presents himself, he suffered a blow earlier this week when Nike distanced itself from the trainers, which have all apparently already been shipped.
This seems unfair on me specifically, considering I received an email today stating that my Urban Outfitters order was 'unexpectedly delayed'. If someone could offer Mr Lil Nas X a position as Head of Delivery at Royal Mail, that would be perfect.
The whole outrage played out on Twitter, as a few conservative critics got heated and defensive of American morality. Politicians, who seem to do nothing but walk and tweet recently, got involved, which is always a sign that maybe there’s more important things to worry about, such as the raging pandemic, or my Urban Outfitters order.
As Lil Nas replied to South Dakotan governor Kristi Noem:
I am proud of Lil Nas X and forever grateful for his Twitter presence.
Stream Call Me By Your Name, or don’t, it’s really up to you. Engage in the Twitter discourse, or don’t, although I cannot stress enough how excellent a tweeter Lil Nas X really is.
Either way, I’m sure Lil Nas will remain funny and trailblazing and – importantly – better at delivering goods than the Royal Mail. (EA)
So, another week of culture, come and gone. Here’s to another week of spice and intrigue. Until next time!