So… in a time of serious and depressing news, we think it is not just important, but vital, to tune out for a brief minute and indulge in the ridiculous circus of the pop culture world which, despite the universe’s best efforts (and our pleas), simply refuses to stop rising to the occasion. Buckle up!
All hail Harry and Meghan, King and Queen of ITV!
At some point last week, Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex, read my mind.
She saw me painfully flicking through the pages of a book I hadn’t read, sitting in my freezing Edinburgh room, two hot water bottles on my lap, and she took pity.
She said, hold on, give me a minute, I’ve got something to cheer you up, luv. I’ve got something to spice up your monotonous week. And just like that, she breathed life into my being once more.
She and her ginger prince decided to send an Oprah sized bullet at the Royal Family, and I for one couldn’t be more invested.
Late last week, Harry and Meghan announced a special interview with myth and legend Oprah Winfrey, to be aired Sunday 7th March (Monday 8th on ITV for this side of the pond).
The interview, which has its own trailer, looks juicy and fairly intense, and takes place in a leafy garden that is very clearly not Wiltshire in February.
The Sussexes are telling their side of this multi-angled, complex story, and my ears are outstretched. On the table will be Meghan’s treatment by the British press and Royal Family, the former of whom she has accused of racist and misogynistic harassment, and Harry’s personal relationship with the press, which has been ugly since the death of Lady Diana.
Fresh allegations this week of “bullying” by Meghan to unnamed household staff have heightened the whole conflict, as the Duchess has accused the royals of complicity in a smear campaign against her.
People (read: Twitter) have been quick to highlight the hypocrisy of Buckingham Palace’s interest in these claims, when it seems to ignore almost every other alleged indiscretion made by its other members, who will remain anonymous.
Meanwhile, Prince Philip is to remain in hospital with a pre-existing heart condition, which several news outlets have decided is probably, if not definitely, Meghan’s doing. New NHS guidelines state that TV interviews can have health complications.
Reader, stay vigilant. The Royal Family is not what it once was. They’re old and bald and boring and convinced that they’re not.
A hot piece of intel I would like to deliver to the royals is that when things are tense, communication via articles is rarely the solution.
Haz, Megz and Baby Archie seem loved up in the long hot stretch of California they now live in, and who can blame them? When the alternative is Piers Morgan rattling on about you every morning while Susanna Reid sits and smizes, an Atlantic Ocean seems a fair enough distance to go.
Anyway, on to the important stuff! I’m wearing jeans and a nice top to the Harry and Meghan interview, wbu xx (EA)
Breaking News: Ellie Goulding did not attend nor was she nominated at the Golden Globes...
The Golden Globes last weekend came and went without any major drama or talking points. The show itself was fine (I assume, because like any sane person I wasn’t watching it) but lacked the usual in-person buzz.
However, the whole show was set up to fail from the start as the night's entertainment had peaked before the cameras had even begun rolling. And that’s because none other than Miss “everybody’sontheflooractingcrazygettinglocotothelightsout” aka Ellie Goulding posted the Instagram post to end all Instagram posts.
In a poised and elegant seated pose, with hands clasped in reverence, Goulding can be seen looking majestically into the distance, evoking parallels to the Armada portraits of Elizabeth I.
If anything, the collected stoicism of Ellie’s post outshines Liz’s and I for one cannot wait to see it hung in the National Portrait gallery where it truly belongs.
Her caption reads “Golden Globes! (i wasn’t there nor was I nominated)”- OK lets discuss this. So, not only did she do a post in honour of the Golden Globes, but she dressed up, had a picture taken and then posted about an event which she has no role in nor anything to do with. THIS is power personified.
I don’t know how we can collectively move on from this, nothing about it makes sense but somehow this post has made everything seem right with the world. (NC)
BBC Three is back
OK, so BBC Three has been announced to be making a return to our screens. Personally, I took its original removal as an affront against my personality.
How did the BBC expect me to keep entertaining its silly little license fee if it was going to deny me the simple pleasure of Don’t Tell The Bride? How, I ask, was I meant to go on without husbands consistently and with gleeful arrogance spoiling the dream weddings of their brides to be?
And HOW, MAY I ASK, was I meant to accept the removal of POD from my TV screen in Snog Marry Avoid?
I need my fix of a computer telling young and unique individuals who dare express themselves in non conventional manners that they look like tarts or freaks and then proceed to “make under” them by giving them a mum bob and Dorothy Perkins blazer and kitten heel?!
As both Sarah Harding at the BRITS and Richard Curtis would say, IT'S ABOUT TIME that this channel returned to our TV screens... (NC)
So, another week of culture, come and gone. Here’s to another week of spice and intrigue. Until next time!